WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
