it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
