chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
