You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
