Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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