If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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