Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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