this beer tastes like vomit already
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
