and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
