I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
