break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
