Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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