I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
