He had one of those small greek statue penises
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
