im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
