He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
