No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
