Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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