she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
