The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i barfeds in our rink
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
