There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
