Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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