also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
