We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
