I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
