Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
