and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
