i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
