i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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