I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I could fuck to npr.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
