wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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