If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
