I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
