Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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