He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
