My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
