puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
