Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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