we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
