Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
