super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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