I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
