Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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