I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
