So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
