her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she smelled like a LAN party
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize