white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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