apparently the secret to your success is patron
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
