I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
