I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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